Tuesday, February 3, 2009

How to Rekindle a Lost Friendship?

Posted by Cecile at Tuesday, February 03, 2009
Good friends are like diamonds in the rough. They're there for you through thick and thin and even help to improve health and longevity. But what happens if you've lost touch with someone who was once incredibly close to you—is it too late to re-connect? Here are some tips I got from Quality Health website, written by Seth Czarnecki

Think. It's important to consider what made you lose touch to begin with. Was it the natural course of things? Did you both get caught up in the melee of everyday life? Or was it something more serious and painful? Remembering why it happened—and being honest about it—is crucial to how you approach the subject.

Contact. Do your best to contact your friend via email or telephone. Keep in mind that just as you’re busy, so is your friend. Getting in touch and having a conversation may take some time. It's easy to feel discouraged when you’re extending the olive branch and it’s not being accepted immediately. Be patient.

Ease in. Have realistic expectations for that first conversation—especially if the last time you talked was 8 months ago or ended on bad terms. Have a friendly, open tone as you ask what they’ve been doing or how they’ve been. If things go well, carry on a light hearted chat.

Explore. If there are still hard feelings, don't be afraid to address them. You were friends for a reason, and given the right amount of maturity and handling of the initial problem, there should be no reason why it can’t happen again. Avoid coming across as confrontational by using "I" statements. For example: "I felt (this) when (this happened)" or "Looking back, I feel like (this) because of (this)." By using this method, you can express your feelings without pointing the finger.

Be honest.As any relationship goes, honesty holds all things together. This remains true when trying to rekindle a friendship. Coming out and saying you miss your friendship is good. Being honest about your feelings shows transparency and trust. Most importantly, be honest with both your friend and yourself about what it will take to make things work.

Work. It will take work regardless of whether or not you attempt was successful. If you were not able to rekindle your friendship, it will take some work on your behalf to move on and leave the past in the past. However, if you both agree to move on with your relationship, it will require efforts on both your parts to maintain the friendship. Keep in contact periodically and try to get together. Friendships that are worthwhile can withstand the worst of disputes and rebound from the longest hiatus.


Clarissa said...

When my friend and I had an argument,I decided to approach her to say sorry but she told me not to coz it's her fault anyway but then I said no,it's my fault but then again she said it's her fault then we laughed about it!!

Umma said...

Thanks for posting Ces.. I like this entry..

Cecile said...

you are welcome, dear, Umma :-)

i like it, too!

Cecile said...

funny thing when we started talking we ended up claiming it is our faults :-) then, of course that means we can't live without each other, right, Clarissa? happy ending ba.


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